A woman who stabbed her two children and herself wrote in her diary that she did so because she wanted her partner to be “happy with another woman” a court has heard.
She is charged with murdering her eight-week-old son and attempting to murder his two-year-old sister in July 2021.
The woman cannot be named to protect the identity of her daughter.
She accepts she stabbed the children but denies the charges.
On Tuesday extracts from a diary found at her home were read at Belfast Crown Court.
In the black book, she wrote: “I chose to take our lives for everything you’ve done to us.
“You got to the point of leaving your children for another woman.
“All you wanted was to have arguments so you have reasons to leave and be with your woman.
“I hope you will be happy next to her.
“I couldn’t bear the thought that you are with her and you did not care about us any more.
“I chose to take our lives so nobody would mock us any more.
“Even if we will be up there we will love you and wait for you to be a happy family again.
“Please don’t forget about us. Bring us flowers and light us candles at the cemetery.
“We will be happy again when we meet in the next life.
“In real life we couldn’t live without you and we weren’t a family without you.
“God, what I’ve become to take my life and the children so you can be happy.”
‘I don’t feel safe’
The woman then asks not to be separated from her children and asks that her partner is buried beside them.
The jury was also shown footage from a camera worn by a police officer who was called to the woman’s home three days before the stabbings.
Asked why she called the police, the woman says: “Because it is too dangerous.”
She alleges that her partner pushed her at the top of the stairs and says that the back of her head hit a wall.
She tells the officer that she and her partner argued about getting passports for their children.
She says: “I don’t feel safe with my kids here beside him.
“He give me too much stress. All the time shouting, drugs and alcohol. I have enough, you know what I mean?”
Visibly distressed in the footage, she is seen feeding her baby a bottle of milk.
Footage was also shown of the woman being checked in to a police custody room.
She is heard telling an officer: “I killed my children. This is the truth.”
When asked about her mental health, the woman says: “Depression I have 100%. I had it and still have it.
“I have cried too much and I’m really sorry for what I’ve done.
“If I could turn back time.”
The woman is then heard asking about the condition of her daughter.
The trial continues.
Source : BBC